Not sure what to call it...

Brief background story... there was this guy I had an interest in a couple months ago and my interest just dropped oneday. lol btw, he wasnt interested either... atleast I think he wasnt. Yet, I still get this urge to see how he is doing!?! and I actually message him or whatever just to know how he is doing... lol its so weird!!! Its like this force that wont leave me alone unless I make sure hes doing ok but, I dont have any particular feelings for him... get it?? lol I dont get it. I've never had a reason to worry about him or anything so its very odd to me that I get that urge to make sure he's ok... Maybe along the side of trust rehab, I also need anti-caring rehab... I need to learn to not let small things bother me... lol like I have OCD on making sure people are ok in general lol... My ex and I got into this huge arguement one time and didnt talk for a week... lol and I randomly called him to make sure he wuz ok... even though I was supposed to be mad. Thats the shit Im talking about, Why do I do those things?? Or like this other time, I was mad at one of my platonic friends and we didnt talk for a while but, oneday I didnt like something his away message said and I messaged him asking him if everything was ok with him... the list goes on and on and on. Why do I care so much about people? and how do I stop so I can prevent myself from looking like captain dumbass?? lol

Live. Love. Laugh. Learn.: The love and learn part

What is it about that 1 special person who you find yourself inseparable(did I just make that word up?) from? Its like, that person pisses you off, hurts you more than most, says some f**ked up stuff... and they still are the one who makes you feel... dare I say it... vulnerable. Not that Creativeqt is capable of being in love...(shes not)...*stops to sip my dragonfruit slurpee on this ole death valley ass day..err.. night.* but, I dont understand this feeling. I agree with you old folks, Im too young to love, too young to have babehz, too young to make all the decisions for myself... but explain to me why I feel the way I do? My own brain says no children without you old folks telling me, I know I still f**k up like 40% of the time but, if Im 20 and too young to understand "love" then, how do I feel this feeling? He doesnt just make me tingle in the zones or say really sweet things that i want to hear. Hell, half the time, he says the opposite of what I want to hear... but I cant deny that for the most part I have been told the truth, Whether its him lying then coming back and telling the truth or just being honest from the beginning. He is one of the few things in my life with no hidden fees, and I digg that. Cant add relationship to my life at the moment but, I thought I would get that off my chest to the blog world... even if no one reads this, I said it out in the open and I feel better about expressing my thoughts( creativeqt is learning to express herself... next blog will explain that if I decide to write another one.)